I’m going back and forth between emotions right now. I’d ask for slack but eh. I don’t know at all, right now, go to feel or to react or anything at all right now. I range from being so mad that I’m shaking to sobbing with depression.
I fucked up pretty badly, and I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not just seeing the bad side if things right now. That is all I can see.
I’m just trying to keep myself healthy and, well, yeah, it’s not working. I cannot decide whether or not I should stay near or try something or just fucking leave.
So yeah. I apologize for my actions. I’m not thinking straight at all. I can’t think straight. You are stuck in my head an it’s either good memories or bad ones but it is tearing me apart.
I need to move onto the next stage of grief.
It’s hard to be friends. You say you can’t start conversations but you could when we were a thing. That was auto corrected to thug okay that was pretty funny. Partners in crime. Sighs. For all I really know you’re dating someone else.
I guess I’m just beating my self up over this.
I’m killing myself over this.
God, I’m such a terrible person.
I let you know that early on. I told you who I was but you stayed with me and then I ruined it all.
I killed myself.
I killed my own happiness.